Keyshawn Johnson Retires

Yes, the "greatest wide receiver to ever take a breath" has retired from the NFL.

Here's the scary part:

Johnson has agreed to a multiyear contract, and will appear on several ESPN telecasts, including pre-game shows on Sundays and Monday nights, and do some radio work as well.

At ESPN, Johnson will join the crew of Sunday NFL Countdown and Monday Night Countdown as an analyst. He will also contribute to a new weekly ESPN Radio NFL show hosted by Chris Mortensen and Bill Parcells.

Good lord. First, ESPN's pre-game shows have become almost unwatchable these last couple years, adding Johnson is only going to put that right over the top. Damn you NBC for paying to become the only Sunday night recap show! NFL Primetime was one of the best things about Sunday during football season. You can get caught up on all the games you missed during the day, and the broadcast was actually good. Shocking, I know.

And if I were to dream up the worst team to do a football radio show, I think it would be Chris Mortensen, Bill Parcells, and Keyshawn Johnson. My god, I'm going to have nightmares now about this. Two really boring guys and an asshole. The only thing worse would be if these goofballs get a show on ESPN. That would be awful.