JINTS WIN!!!! JINTS WIN!!!!

5>3. 5>3. 5>3!!!

Oh loyal reader/listener. My dreams came true last night. The 1972 Dolphins' dreams came true last night. So I know at least three of my colleagues (Craig, Thomas, Cuba) agree with me that the Pats losing last night made for one of the greatest Super Bowls in recent history. (Second to XL, of course.)

Excuse me while I make this about the Steelers, because last night was a win of sorts for them as well.

I know Thomas agrees with me, because last night Noll's Steelers of the 70's were cemented as a greater dynasty than the Pats. The numbers don't lie. Noll was 4-0 in Super Bowls. 4 rings in 6 years. The Steelers as a whole are 5-1 (Neil O'Donnell) in Super Bowls. The Patsies? 3-3. To see Bill Belejerk wimpering his way down the tunnel with one second still to play was like music to my... eyes.

18 and NO!!!

I am having shirts made if anyone wants them. Just email me. They will cost a measly $29.99. Cheap if you ask me.

Three plays last night that I will remember forever:
1) Eli Manning is sacked, three defenders have his jersey. But in miraculous (Roethlisbergerian, I might add) fashion, he escapes, rolls out, and lobs one up to David Tyree, who already has a TD catch despite having 342 drops this season, catches it with his helmet inside the Patsies 25. I hadn't actually thought Eli could do it until then. Cut to Tom Brady's smug ass, the thought that he had done it again fading slowly. Watch and learn Tom.

2) Ellis Hobbs will forever be known as the guy who fucked up perfection. In an almost reverse of what just happened on the other side of the field with Randy Moss, Plaxico Burress easily catches the fade route. He dropped all but two passes thrown to him all game, the first and the last. The last beat Tom Brady.

3) The sack heard (and felt) 'round the world. 2nd and 10 after the bomb where Aaron Ross inexplicably let Randy Moss get behind him. Tom Brady was PLANTED. NAILED. Hit so hard by the Rookie Jay Alford to make it 3rd and forever. I will forever remember how for no reason other than I hate the smug Patriots and their even smugger fans, I wished pain upon Tom Brady's smug ass. And when it was delivered and Brady rolled over wincing, it was amazing. Smug.

So New England fans, and I use that term loosely, as I had never seen a Patriots Jersey in public until after the 2000 season, how long before you stop talking about the Pats, da best team evah? My guess is instantly. My guess is you won't even think about football till next season, when you look up in August who the Pats' 1st round draft pick was and watch the first quarter of a preseason game or two. My guess is you will think of some reason to blame the refs (Seahawks fans) or say Eli cheated or something. Well. Suck on it. You know that one hurt the most. Cheaters.

Bill Beleloser forced coaches and teams to sit through shillackings all year, where the Patriots ran up the score. He sat there with that smug grin on his face and said that the Patriots were giving the other team an opportunity to "stop us from scoring." But when the tables are turned, he can't sit around and wait for the last :02 to run down before disappearing? He can't extend the same courtesy that other coaches and players did to him all season? What a glorified ASS. He deserves every kind of humiliation that the whole town will endure.

I have it on good authority that the New England news stations were speculating what kind of effect the Parade would have on Super Tuesday. Whether it would effect the voter turnout. Not even a thought about the loss that they were about to incur. This combined with the fact that the Patriots applied for a trademark on the phrase "19-0" and the players were inviting the Giants' players to their parties while the game was still being played makes me even happier that the tower fell. Inevitable just got redefined.

18 and NO!!! Bitches. 5>3.

Super Bowl

So here I am, people. It has been almost 4 months since I have posted, maybe longer, and I know you were like "What's that slightly negroidian guy up to?" Well I got nothing else to do in the 5 minutes before I go to formation then on to lunch to have Shepherd's Pie prepared en masse for 4,400 people. Can't wait. My mouth is watering. I pay $12 per day for this stuff. U-S-N-A!!!

So I need to talk about how the Big Blue Wrecking Crew needs to, has to win this damn game on Sunday. The time for being objective is over. I hate the Patsies. I hate them but they are damn good. But the perfect season? 19+ straight wins? (You know they'll have the Dolphins first next year...) I have to believe that there's something that still can't be (or at least won't be) achieved in sports, and the perfect season is one of them.

Eli, if you have any skill left in the bank after the massive withdrawals you have been making, close it out for this game. You have to score on every drive. Consider letting Peyton wear your jersey and play as you. Just tell him to dumb it down a little.

Osi and Mike, sic 'em like Mike Vick's dogs after fresh meat. Hit him early and often. Sit on him a little after you tackle him. Whisper horrible things in his earhole about his unborn supermodel bastard children. Sandwich him between the two of ya's and sneak a quick elbow to the kidney. If it is possible, rattle Tom Brady. Make him make mistakes; he showed two weeks ago that he can. Do horrible things to him.

Tynes, you gotta make those chip shots. I know it was snowy and cold, but Mike Vanderjagt could have made those. You saved it in the end, but you better be 100% in Arizona. You'll be the forever known as the bad LT if you miss a gamewinner in XLII.

Tom. Don't fuck this up. Don't do it. You won't be able to show your face in the Tristate area again. Those people aren't forgiving, and they're quick to forget the good stuff.

Don't let me down. The Patsies cannot have 4. They don't deserve glory. I'm entirely too spiteful for that to happen.

Divisional Playoff Picks - The Only Picks

Jags @ Pats

Chargers @ Colts

Hawks @ Packers

Giants @ Cowboys


Every home team is favored (in Vegas and in most fans hearts). I wonder if it is possible that all four favorites can actually win. The truth is... it isn't. So, which one of the visiting dogs is going to get lucky?

It surely can't be a team helmed by Norv and with Mr. Rivers taking snaps. He's trash. Fired up trash, but trash nonetheless. Can't be the Chargers. Colts cover.

The Seahawks have intangibles? Really? I don't know about that. I've been listening to countless podcasts and reading plenty of articles on the playoffs and I am left with my own viewings of Seahawk games. They are ultimately unimpressive. Favre hasn't been good in the playoffs lately, but this team is young and hungry. The break could've hurt them, so this is a potential upset story, but didn't Matty 'Beck jinx himself for like 10 years with that brash comment in 2005? If you know football, you know what I'm talking about. Packers in a close one.

Oh, Jacksonville, you cinderella bastards. Everyone quick! Jump on the bandwagon, it doesn't quite have enough people yet. Forget it. They aren't going to beat the red, white, and blue machine. They just aren't. David Garrard is going to see more pressure than he is comfortable with. The running game will get going, but the JAX defense couldn't hold down an injured Steelers offense from coming within 1 point last week. What hope do they have against Saint Brady and the Angel of Reception, Moss. They are ordained by the Church, it seems, though destined to lose in the AFC championship (see next weeks picks in a few days). Pats roll, winning by 2 touchdowns - a lead they will grab by the end of the first quarter and never relinquish.

What? Does that really leave Eli Manning and Tom Coughlin as the upset special of the week. Sadly, it does, folks. You're reading it, so it must be true. Eli showed up bigger than ever before in his Wild Card game, willing his team to win. They're had injury problems and yet, prevailed over what should've been a sure-loss, according to the pundits. Well, screw the pundits, and screw Tony Romo. Go Big Blue!

That's it for the picks, folks. We're down to four games a weekend, reduced to only two next. It's sad. On a different note completely, have any of you seen the ads for the new Amazon Kindle. It is an electronic reading device that looks fantastic. Why did they come out in early January and not for a holiday season. The damn thing looks like it can be the iPod of reading. It's going to be sick. I wish I thought of it, or thought to buy Amazon stock a few months ago, since it has promptly doubled. Those of you with money, it wouldn't be bad to still get in on some Amazon love. The Kindle is going to revolutionize the way people read.

Until next week... Happy new Year 4th and Goal fans, all 1 of you.