Super Bowl

So here I am, people. It has been almost 4 months since I have posted, maybe longer, and I know you were like "What's that slightly negroidian guy up to?" Well I got nothing else to do in the 5 minutes before I go to formation then on to lunch to have Shepherd's Pie prepared en masse for 4,400 people. Can't wait. My mouth is watering. I pay $12 per day for this stuff. U-S-N-A!!!

So I need to talk about how the Big Blue Wrecking Crew needs to, has to win this damn game on Sunday. The time for being objective is over. I hate the Patsies. I hate them but they are damn good. But the perfect season? 19+ straight wins? (You know they'll have the Dolphins first next year...) I have to believe that there's something that still can't be (or at least won't be) achieved in sports, and the perfect season is one of them.

Eli, if you have any skill left in the bank after the massive withdrawals you have been making, close it out for this game. You have to score on every drive. Consider letting Peyton wear your jersey and play as you. Just tell him to dumb it down a little.

Osi and Mike, sic 'em like Mike Vick's dogs after fresh meat. Hit him early and often. Sit on him a little after you tackle him. Whisper horrible things in his earhole about his unborn supermodel bastard children. Sandwich him between the two of ya's and sneak a quick elbow to the kidney. If it is possible, rattle Tom Brady. Make him make mistakes; he showed two weeks ago that he can. Do horrible things to him.

Tynes, you gotta make those chip shots. I know it was snowy and cold, but Mike Vanderjagt could have made those. You saved it in the end, but you better be 100% in Arizona. You'll be the forever known as the bad LT if you miss a gamewinner in XLII.

Tom. Don't fuck this up. Don't do it. You won't be able to show your face in the Tristate area again. Those people aren't forgiving, and they're quick to forget the good stuff.

Don't let me down. The Patsies cannot have 4. They don't deserve glory. I'm entirely too spiteful for that to happen.